Thing 1 and Thing 2

As a leader, it is important to look at Thanksgiving in a different light.  True leaders, in my opinion, have been blessed with a gift.  A gift that needs to continually give to others. 

I recently finished reading a book entitled The Weekly Conversation by Brian Souza.  As I read through this very engaging story, I realized that every moment is a coachable moment.  Too often we as leaders are looking for the “right time” to have a key discussion with a peer, team member, or even a manager we report to.  There is no right or wrong time to have that discussion.  There are only those discussions or conversations that do not occur because of the “what if”. 

I had a conversation with one of my sons (Thing 2 or T2) about his schoolwork.  He is consistently a very strong student and work hard.  He was telling me about one of his classes where they were having a group discussion and his thoughts on a topic were different than his classmates.  He said that he chose not to speak up.  At that point, it didn’t matter for me about the grade, but rather the “why” he chose not to share his perspective. 

As we discussed a little more, I wanted to share with him that regardless of a grade, in order to be successful in life, he needs to be willing to speak his mind and support his position with a solid argument.  At the same time, he needs to be willing to listen to others as well.  I have read some of what he has written for his classes, and it is solid.  This was my opportunity to impart some of my experience on him that communication is not one sided.  It needs to be an engagement of differing opinions, but a common understanding and respect for others perspectives.  Too often, conversations do not occur for precisely that last reason.

Now, my other son (Thing 1) will argue a point until the cows come home.  This too can be detrimental to open communication as no one wants a discussion to be monopolized.  He is very emphatic about his beliefs and will engage in a conversation on any topic with anyone at any time.  As I have observed him with his peer group from afar, he does actively listen, but will always try and persuade you to his position. 

Back to the book.  Having a conversation should be a natural occurrence.  Whether you are Thing 1 or Thing 2 in how you approach conversations, the key is that you are willing to engage in thoughtful dialogue as a leader.  Be open to others perspectives and be a consummate listener and learner.

Have a great week!

Listen to be heard

I was watching an excerpt of an interview with Lebron James recently where he spoke about losing last years NBA finals was the worst experience of his career.  He said that experience he was able to turn into a positive situation by ensuring he grew from that experience.
Are athletes the only ones who can draw strength from setbacks and have those negative situations become catalysts for positive future outcomes?  It can be argued that each of us as individuals and as leaders can turn negative situations into positives, we just need to listen and understand how those situations came to be. 

It is easy for leaders to want to “tell”, but the best leaders allow their teams to “experience”.  It is our leadership responsibility to guide people through developing their own experiences, so they can be stronger performers and leaders in the future.

As in the case of an athlete, a coach can preach to a multi million dollar athlete all day, however, it is not until the inexperienced player becomes a seasoned and mature veteran that they really understand and respect the coaching they received early in their careers.  This is why many young, but talented players never are able to win a championship, and why many talented young professionals never reach their full potential. 

Spend more time over the course of the next week listening to your teams, and less time directing.  Hear what they have to say, and they will begin to hear more of what you have to say.  Listen to be heard.

Allowing for experiences is a process.  Allow the process to naturally occur, within a pre-defined framework of established feedback opportunities.  That feedback should be equally provided and needs to allow for a free flow of ideas based upon the experiences obtained since the last feedback opportunity.  Remember, to listen in order to be heard.

Have a great week…